


The Path Less Taken

by tangerinecoffee



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 10:15:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9119194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangerinecoffee/pseuds/tangerinecoffee
Summary: Canon-compliant. Why did Taehyun leave?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, hello NamSong shippers! I know we're all still trying to heal and I hope this short fic can somehow help. :)
> 
> Stay warm this holiday season!
> 
> Beta-ed by eva_milyn as always :*

 

 

**The Path Less Taken**

 

 

There he was again – strobe lights drowning his vision, loud speakers blasting away his uncertainties and fears.

This was one of those nights – one of those nights where he tried to shut off the rest of the world and where only he and his music existed.

A tap on his shoulder made him open his eyes and Taehyun looked at the man saying something to him that he didn’t really understand.

So Taehyun just smiled and waited until he was alone again.

He inhaled the suffocating smell of smoke and perfume and threw his head back.

This was one of those nights.

 

Taehyun locked his door with a sigh escaping his lips. Polly was waiting for him and he crouched to pet her. “How are you Polly-ah~?”

The cat answered by pressing its cheek into his palms more and Taehyun smiled.

But it was a sad smile, he knew because it had been like that for months.

He opened his phone and read some of the comments on his Instagram, realizing some fans were mad about Minho’s decision of unfollowing him.

“This is getting out of hand.”

 

*

It had been after their comeback songs were released that he realized something was happening to him that he shouldn’t be feeling.

It started when they were in the studio, composing their song,  _Sentimental_. Everything was going smoothly until they lost track of how many bottles of soju they’ve emptied. Taehyun thought of how Minho denied remembering anything in particular that night in one interview, but the two of them knew he was lying.

Because Taehyun couldn’t forget how shocked Minho was when he leaned in and kissed him on the lips.  

Taehyun had been thinking about how Minho’s lips would feel for the past year but had not really acted on it. He thought it was just his curiosity and he blamed it on the restricted life of an idol.

And that night, he blamed it on soju.

He remembered pulling back and mumbling an apology just to be pushed down on the studio floor as Minho’s body pressed close to his. “Hyung?”

Taehyun wouldn’t forget how Minho cupped his cheek and kissed him clumsily. It was unsure, like the two of them were that time.

But Taehyun kissed back.

And that’s where it all started to fuck up.

He wasn’t supposed to know that Minho was thinking about kissing him too and way before Taehyun had thought about it.

Or the fact that he liked the idea of Minho always looking for him in a crowd or always wanting to sit with him or always praising him and his angelic voice.

Taehyun wasn’t supposed to get too comfortable with any of that.

But he did.

And he treasured all those facts.

 

He wasn’t aware of it until a higher up from the company called him out one day, asking him what _his relationship with Minho was._

Taehyun was dazed, immediately remembering the sneaky kisses and brushes of hands and smiles they only have for each other.

“We’re bandmates. And he’s my hyung, why?”

“It doesn’t look that way to us.”

And the higher up started talking about how hard it was to clean up the mess Jiyong and Seunghyun’s  _closeness_  made and how ugly it painted the path of their careers that time.  

Taehyun quickly realized what the other was suggesting, so in an annoyed tone, he dismissed the accusation and went about his day, his mood at its worst.

The problem was, as he tried to define their relationship, the more he failed to name it. Furthermore, he couldn’t just waltz into Minho’s room and ask  _“What am I to you?”_  Because he, himself wasn’t really sure what Minho was to him other than his most important hyung.

Was he, perhaps, someone to just pass time with?

Someone to share a young man’s frustrations with?

A fling?

Taehyun wasn’t sure.  

 

He heard their dorm room opening and Minho smirked when he saw Taehyun alone in the dining room.

“You’re back early.” Minho greeted, his smirk widening.

 _Because I was pissed at that higher up and ended up ditching practice._ “You too.”

Minho smiled at him this time. “I was hoping to see you sooner. Bobby’s bitching about our schedule as well so we decided to just stop for today.” And he strode to Taehyun, his nose nuzzling the crook of the younger man’s neck like it was the most normal thing to do.

And Taehyun enjoyed it, his fingers threading through Minho’s hair as an answer. They stayed like that for what felt like eternity until Minho pulled away and Taehyun found himself frowning. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really.” Taehyun replied immediately, waving at Minho. “Come back here hyung.”

Minho responded with a playful complaint as he lazily dragged himself to the sofa where Taehyun was, his weight heavy as he rested his head on Taehyun’s lap. “Is something wrong?”

Taehyun’s brows furrowed. He was glad Minho could only see the underside of his chin as the older gazed up at him. “Why’d you ask?”

“It’s not every day you ask me to just stay by you.”

 _I want to, but it’s too embarrassing._ “Nothing really, it’s just…” And at the worst possible moment, Taehyun remembered the events earlier that day. His mind blanked out for a minute and before he realized it, he found himself asking, “What am I to you?”

Taehyun panicked slightly when he felt Minho shifting and eventually sitting on the floor in front of him, Minho’s arms crossed and resting on Taehyun’s lap. “What am  _I to you_?”

 

Taehyun turned off his phone and closed his eyes, remembering that one time Minho gazed at him and asked him about the one thing he was certain of but afraid to admit.

Yes, he was a coward and confused and misunderstood and Minho was the only one who accepted him despite all of that.

Because Minho was the only one who knew.

Taehyun opened his eyes and let himself drown in how the fire on the aroma candle flickered.

_Yes, this is the best way. I have to believe it is the best way._

 

*

_From: Song Minho_

**Where are you?**

 

_From: Song Minho_

**Why did you leave?**

 

_From: Song Minho_

**Taehyun, answer your phone.**

 

_From: Song Minho_

**Damn it, Taehyun!**

 

Why was he re-reading every single message he received from Minho again?

Because he was stupid, that’s why.

Taehyun sighed again, unable to stop himself from scrolling up to the very first text he received from Minho way back in their WIN days. From the very first  _“Good morning Team A, let’s do our best today!”_  to the last  _“Damn it, Taehyun!”_  and he felt his eyes burning with the familiar tightening of his chest.

What could have happened if he told Minho what he really wanted to tell him? Would Minho fight for him? Yes, he surely would and that would just fuck things up for the rapper. Minho had been through a lot, had left companies and failed groups and friends and there was no doubt he deserved everything he was achieving now. Song Minho was born to perform, he belonged to the stage.

Not with Taehyun.

That was made clear by their higher ups in YG and Taehyun hated that he followed their advice of leaving Minho to soar high with WINNER.

He just didn’t want everything to be as messed up as before. Destiny had a funny way of messing with his life again and again and he was sure it would be the same this time.

He had been branded a bully, a flopped actor, a disrespectful tipper.

He was afraid of what was next on the list.

It was okay if it was only him but getting Minho or the rest of the team involved was just plain unfair.

So Taehyun decided to remove himself from the equation.

 

*

“I…” He so wanted to tell Minho the truth, that he was important to Taehyun, that he was one of the best things that ever happened to him, that he was his Saturdays and Sundays and every stroke of melody Taehyun loved. “I don’t know.” But that would only make things complicated; so instead, Taehyun told Minho what seemed to be the right thing. He watched as the light in Minho’s face dimmed and the older made up some excuse of being hungry to go and buy something from the convenience store a few blocks away.

Taehyun wished he didn’t hear how Minho slammed the door shut and never came back that night.

He wished he didn’t see him messed up the morning after, dark bags under his eyes and stripped off all the usual swag he carried.

The morning Taehyun left the dorm, he convinced himself he would just destroy Minho if they’d continued what they had.

 

So why was he beginning to regret everything that he had done until now?

 

*

Taehyun found himself on what used to be a familiar chat box, typing a few words just to delete them all again. He eventually gave up, resting his heavy shoulders on the headboard of his bed and staring blankly at his ceiling.

Until his phone lit up with the sound of a new notification.

 

_From: Song Minho_

**Hey**

 

 


End file.
